FORMER PRESIDENT Bill Clinton’s visit to New Hampshire next week to raise money for state Democrats and to attend an anti-childhood obesity event on behalf of Dr. Susan Lynch, the governor’s spouse, is a reminder that the Democrats are the nanny state party.

President Clinton knows something about childhood obesity, having once been the fat kid in Hope. In an outcome that must shock and surprise the anti-sugar nanny staters, Clinton didn’t let a few extra pounds get between him and accomplishment in life. Circumstantial evidence suggests it didn’t even impact his luck with the ladies.

I’m not knocking Dr. Lynch’s advocacy in support of healthy lifestyles. No one is in favor of childhood obesity. It’s just not the government’s job, or the job of government-run schools, to keep kids from drinking soda or eating chips.

Some of us think it might be a parent’s job to regulate those areas, but of course the Clintons, and maybe the Lynchs, think it takes a village to raise a child, and preventing kids from consuming Boston Creams at Dunkin’ Donuts is the village’s responsibility, not mom’s. (This reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw recently in North Hampton which read, “It takes a school to bankrupt a village.”)

Deep down, the nanny staters really think most parents are incompetent at raising children. That’s the subtext of bans on soda vending machines in schools. Parents don’t know squat. Government knows best.

Last year the state Legislature passed, and Gov. Lynch signed, a law that requires people under the age of 16 to wear helmets when riding a bicycle. Based on my observation of streets and neighborhoods around the state, this law has created a new generation of youthful scofflaws while giving cops one more rule they don’t have time to enforce in between DUI stops and domestic violence calls. I wonder just how many $35 fines — the maximum allowed under the law — have been issued statewide to kids who pedal their Huffy over to their buddy’s house to play without regard to head gear. I suspect the answer is zero, suggesting the bike helmet law is just feel-good legislation. At least the kid is getting in some exercise.

As is often the case with nanny state laws, the bike helmet law was justified using the old “just one life” argument, as in “If the Legislature can save just one life with this, it will be worth it.” When the facts aren’t on your side, argue emotion. I’d be in favor of a rule requiring legislators and police and fire departments to provide an economic impact study every time they use the “just one life” argument to justify a new regulation or higher spending for a piece of rarely needed equipment.

After the war on sugar, what domain will the nanny staters want to invade next? A child’s day is beset on all sides by danger:

• Alarm clocks: I’m sure that the Department of Health and Human Services could come up with shocking statistics on the number of pulled muscles that are suffered when students lurch and reach to turn off their alarm clocks, all without proper stretching beforehand. The poor kid hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet and already she’s been exposed to risk. Nanny state solution: Require beds that gently shake children awake, sparing them the trauma of waking up to an alarm. Alternative: At least insist that clock radio alarms are set to public radio classical music featuring soothing stringed instruments.

• Whole milk: This one poses a dilemma for nanny staters. First they warn us too many kids skip breakfast, then they say kids shouldn’t use fattening whole milk on their cereal. Nanny state solution: Add mandatory school breakfasts to the school lunch program, and make sure the low fat milk and scrambled eggs come from hormone-free cows and free-range chickens.

• Girl Scout cookies: The Girl Scouts, that nefarious organization of sugar-pushers, have greatly contributed to the obesity of Americans of all ages with their S’mores and misleadingly marketed Thin Mints, which in fact make you fat. Nanny state solution: Ban Girl Scouts from meeting in public schools and require their members to obtain peddlers licenses.

My goodness, makes me wonder how I managed to get to age 34 with all my teeth without the government there to protect me.

Fergus Cullen, a Union Leader columnist, is a painting contractor in Wolfeboro. He can be reached at ferguscullen@aol.com. His column runs every other Wednesday.