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Didn't that Manchester bank robber last week know that if you are going to rob a bank on Elm Street, ManchVegas, you are supposed to tape a tree to your head?
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Jonah Goldberg: It's time to save the environment from environmentalists
By JONAH GOLDBERG
Friday, May. 23, 2008
I ADMIT IT: I'm no environmentalist. But I like to think I'm something of a conservationist.
No doubt for millions of Americans this is a distinction without a difference, as the two words are usually used interchangeably. But they're different things, and the country would be better off if we sharpened the distinctions between both word and concept.
At its core, environmentalism is a kind of nature worship. It's a holistic ideology, shot through with religious sentiment. "If you look carefully," author Michael Crichton observed, "you see that environmentalism is in fact a perfect 21st century remapping of traditional Judeo-Christian beliefs and myths."

Environmentalism's most renewable resources are fear, guilt and moral bullying. Its worldview casts man as a sinful creature who, through the pursuit of forbidden knowledge, abandoned our Edenic past. John Muir, who laid the philosophical foundations of modern environmentalism, described humans as "selfish, conceited creatures." Salvation comes from shedding our sins, rejecting our addictions (to oil, consumerism, etc.) and demonstrating an all-encompassing love of Mother Earth. Quoth Al Gore: "The climate crisis is not a political issue; it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity."
I heard Gore on NPR recently. He was asked about evangelical pastor Joseph Hagee's absurd comment that Hurricane Katrina was God's wrath for New Orleans' sexual depravity. Naturally, Gore chuckled at such backwardness. But then the Nobel laureate went on to blame Katrina on man's energy sinfulness. It struck me that the two men are not so different. If only canoodling Big Easy residents had adhered to "The Greenpeace Guide to Environmentally Friendly Sex." Environmentalists insist that their movement is a secular one. But using the word "secular" no more makes you secular than using the word "Christian" automatically means you behave like a Christian. Pioneering green lawyer Joseph Sax describes environmentalists as "secular prophets, preaching a message of secular salvation." Gore, too, has been dubbed a "prophet." A green-themed California hotel provides Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" next to the Bible and a Buddhist tome.
Whether or not it's adopted the trappings of religion, my biggest beef with environmentalism is how comfortably irrational it is. It touts ritual over reality, symbolism over substance, while claiming to be so much more rational and scientific than those silly sky-God worshipers and deranged oil addicts.
It often seems that displaying faith in the green cause is more important than advancing the green cause. The U.S. government just put polar bears on the threatened species list because climate change is shrinking the Arctic ice where they live. Never mind that polar bears are in fact thriving -- their numbers have quadrupled in the last 50 years. Never mind that full implementation of the Kyoto protocols on greenhouse gases would save exactly one polar bear, according to Danish social scientist Bjorn Lomborg, author of the book "Cool It!" Yet 300 to 500 polar bears could be saved every year, Lomborg says, if there were a ban on hunting them. What's cheaper -- trillions to trim carbon emissions, or a push for a ban on polar bear hunting?
Plastic grocery bags are being banned, even though they require less energy to make and recycle than paper ones. The country is being forced to subscribe to a modern version of transubstantiation, whereby corn is miraculously transformed into sinless energy even as it does worse damage than oil.
Conservation, which shares roots and meaning with conservatism, stands athwart this mass hysteria. Yes, conservationism can have a religious element as well, but that stems from the biblical injunction to be a good steward of the Earth, rather than a worshiper of it. But stewardship involves economics, not mysticism.
Economics is the study of choosing between competing goods. Environmentalists view economics as the enemy because cost-benefit analysis is thoroughly unromantic. Lomborg is a heretic because he treats natural-world challenges like economic ones, seeking to spend money where it will maximize good, not just good feelings among environmentalists.
Many self-described environmentalists are in fact conservationists. But the environmental movement wins battles by blurring this distinction, arguing that all lovers of nature must follow their lead. At the same time, many people open to conservationist arguments, like hunters, are turned off by even reasonable efforts because they do not want to assist "wackos." In the broadest sense, the environmental movement has won. Americans are "green" in that they are willing to spend a lot to keep their country ecologically healthy, which it is. But now it's time to save the environment from the environmentalists.
Jonah Goldberg's e-mail address is JonahsColumn@aol.com.

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Andrew Cline has been editorial page editor of the New Hampshire Union Leader since October of 2001. His writing has appeared in more than 100 newspapers and magazines, including The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and National Review.
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YOUR COMMENTS
On the specific subject of plastic bags:
Sure, they take less energy to make and are easier to recycle than paper ones - but in this specific case that isn't the point. Paper bags, if carelessly disposed of, fairly quickly rot and cause no more trouble. Plastic lasts practically forever, and causes all manner of mayhem especially in the form of bags; killing turtles by filling up their guts with indigestible rubbish, making great swathes of countryside unsightly as they festoon high branches of trees, etc. The same applies to drift nets, which drown millions of dolphins and albatrosses (both endangered) every year, by drowning.
The energy use is not the point. The indestructibility of many modern pollutants IS the point.
- Ian Campbell, U.K.
I used to have a salesman come by my machine shop trying to sell a water soluable oil coolant which he said you could drink, it was so safe. I kept saying okay go ahead and drink it. He never did. DDT is a polychlorinated biphenyl. Many of these chemicals seem to have long term effects upon reproduction and only recently have we developed the methodology to study those effects. Another one in the news now is Bisphenyl A which is in pretty much all hard plastics and seems to be related to the small size of your sons testacles. I worry when I hear those who make profit from some chemical saying it is just fine. Didn't we just do this with smoking, then second hand smoke, then mad cow, then global warming, then whatever. The results on DDT are mixed but no one that I know is putting it on their peanut butter sandwiches. It may be that the risk is worth the cost due to the enormous cost of malaria but that doesn't mean it is benign. Radical? Drink up.
- Robert, Deerfield
DDT has been proven harmless by many sources including the scientist that used to eat spoonfuls of it. He did this because the evidence he provided wasn't enough to convince the religious envirnmentalists who, apparently. Funny how Jonah talks about extremesists and then some of these extremists actually post extremism below.
- John II, Manchester
Steve & Robert,
I'm sure you are both intelligent enough to understand Mr. Goldberg's point--without mis-characterizing other's comments. One salient “environmentalist question” is “What is the difference—if any--between “climate change” and "global warming"?
Climate change on our planet is a fact; ice ages have come & gone many times over millions of years without being caused--or influenced--by man or his activities. On the other hand "Global Warming" is an assertion; (by definition--warming caused by man & his activities).
In spite of all the overblown rhetoric--that “the debate is over!”--there continues to be a lively debate as to whether phenomena; such as melting glaciers & ice caps; are caused by natural climate change or human activities; and what--if anything--human societies should do about it.
Similarly, we hear a lot about “endangered” species of plants & animals. While no sane person would argue for the wonton destruction of species or habitats, the geologic record contains fossilized remains; millions of years old; of many extinct species.
This suggests that extinction of species is just as much a part of the natural order of things as is the evolution of species—with or without the presence of mankind. So… Steve & Robert…take a breath!
- Paul, Hillsboro
Jonah's "distinction" does not really establish the difference. One way or another, humanity has one home and only one home: Earth. To the extent that we trash it, it won't make any difference whether we are "environmentalists" or "conservationists." We'll all be dead. In this case, I'd say the ends (catastrophe or salvation) make the choice of means a matter of life or death. Columns like this one split hairs, but don't deal with the substance of the problem.
- Webster, Williamsburg, VA
It is often all-or-nothing solutions that are bandied about. We ARE supposed to treasure and manage our environment, but it is also here to provide for us. Conservation and careful use of resources should be hand-in-hand with our ability to use those resources in a responsible way. Unscientific regulations need to be removed so we can all work together for efficient living.
- Ed Tipler, PE, Ridgecrest, Ca.
The posts below give us an object lesson in the mindset of the environmental left: any rational criticism of where the environmental movement might have gone wrong brings nothing but hysterics about dumping DDT and mercury. There's no room for reasoned debate with the left: in this case, you must either stay obedient to their controlling view or be cast as the worst sort of polluter.
- Rick M., Portsmouth
While Jonah's comments against the environmental extremists are welcome and refreshing, the urge to dump the entire concept of a cleaner earth as if it was somehow opposed to conservatism itself is taking it a step too far, and misstates the notion of conservatism. We don’t have a blank check to use up all of our nation’s resources, nor do we have the right to pollute wantonly, as if that was somehow the sign of “progress.” Plastic bags should be recycled, for example, and it’s conservatives who should be the most vocal about embracing local recycling programs. Doing so does nothing to degrade Capitalism, free enterprise or our way of life. In fact, in enhances it.
- Stephen A., Manchester
How about letting the tannery start dumping spent dye in the rivers and streams again? Oh the memory of red and yellow streams 25 years ago in NH. And why all the sewage plants? Lets just dump it in the Merrimack River again, clean water is way over rated and it might save me a little money on my taxes. How about a nuclear plant where the face of the Old Man of the Mount used to be? Wouldn't that be a true beacon of the rightious, all knowing, right wingers in NH for all the world to see! Enviro-terrorists must be stopped!!!
- Sid, Plano, Texas
It's easy to see who actually read and digested the article and those who read what they wanted to see. They clearly demonstrate the point without further comment.
- Ellen, Portland
Amen, brother! Power to the people. Dump that waste! I think I'll go out and buy some DDT and dump it in the river. Maybe change my oil in a field next to a reservoir. Marxist pigs telling me what I can and cannot do. See, moving back to NH has started to rub off on me.
- steve boyington, Chester
Amen brother! Nice to finally hear someone say what all of us rational-thinking Americans have known all along. Environmentalism is an anti-capitalistic movement that embraces symbolism over success, and fabrication over fact. It binds the hands of energy companies and entrepreneurs, who, left to pursue their passions, would have had this nation energy independent 20 years ago. Time to take our country back!
- Dave Jag, Goffstown
Some nice points raised here. It is good to see logic slowly making its way into this debate. I am also careful to call myself a conservationist in order to differentiate myself from the rabid green zealots who have made 'environmentalist' a pejorative.
- Tom, Campton
So let's hijack the environmentalist movement and give it back to the nuclear power industry, the tobacco industry, the utility companies. A couple more Clean Air Bills would help. Let's completely remove mercury output controls from power plants, let's appoint more "experts" whose knowledge base is the bible not environmental science and then we won't have to consider that plastic bags, though cheaper to produce are filling up land fills. Their cost to produce is not the point. The environment is the point. That is why we must stop destroying it with polluting cars, and coal fired plants and ingenious new chemicals, drugs, depleted uranium weapons and genetically altered foodstuffs that don't exist in nature and are setting us up for an unknown future.
- Robert, Deerfield
Sadly, the environmentist movement has been hijacked by politicians, and those who follow them, who wish to control how we live, what we think, do, and say. ( and they try to deflect this fact by pointing to conservatives who have problems with gay marriage...go figure). Conservationists believe in thewise use of natural resources, which of course is also subject to abuse by those to whom only the dollar is important. I have to agree with Jonah, the green movement is quickly becoming a new religion, and not a very friendly reglion if you don't bow at thier alter to pray, and fork over your income.
- jeff, goffstown
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