Last week I wrote about helping a friend find a breeder and a puppy, providing an overview of some important considerations in the search for a new family member.

My friend was looking for a friendly, outgoing, trainable dog appropriate for pet therapy. The top of the list of requirements, not just for my friend, but for any pet owner is temperament.

If a dog is congenitally shy or aggressive, it doesn't matter what it looks like, how healthy it is or anything else. Temperament is genetic, so you can assess a puppy's likely adult temperament by meeting the parents — or at least the dam, the mom.

My friend had found a litter of puppies through the Internet, but talking to the breeder raised a bunch of red flags. If you missed the column, you can find it on my website. But there are more things to watch for. Here are some additional clues to help make the right decision:

After rejecting the first litter she was considering, my friend called me about some pups in Massachusetts that had been shipped from Missouri to a “friend of the breeder.” The man attested to their temperaments, saying he had sold some from her before, and they were wonderful. There are a lot of puppy mills in the Midwest, and while not everyone in Missouri who breeds dogs runs a puppy mill, I'm suspicious of a legitimate breeder relying on a “friend” to sell her pups. This felt like a puppy mill shipping to a puppy broker. Without seeing the dam, my friend had only his word for their temperament, and why should she trust him? This sounded more and more like a broker.

Unlike the first breeder my friend located, this man offered her a full guarantee. My friend was impressed by this, but it wasn't as simple as that. I explained that he failed to mention that if she wanted them to honor the guarantee, she would have to give up her puppy and return it to the breeder. Pet shops give these guarantees knowing that when it comes right down to it, 99 percent of dog owners would sooner lose a limb than give up a dog they've become attached to for a few dollars, even if their now much-loved dog requires veterinary care or isn't what the breeder assured them it would be. When my friend realized this, she agreed that it was best to avoid this one, too.

The next puppy my friend called about was the last of a litter that a breeder hadn't sold yet. The puppy was 13 weeks old, and I was on the fence about this one. Thirteen weeks is a bit older than I recommend, unless the breeder had taken pains to socialize the pup. The breeder assured my friend that her dogs are friendly and outgoing, and that this pup had been well-socialized to a wide variety of people and experiences. While no breeder would say, “My dogs are timid and shy, and I haven't done nearly enough to socialize this puppy, who also will be shy,” this was at least worth taking a look at, so my friend went for a visit.

My friend tried to make friends with the puppy, but he was aloof and not affectionate. Worse still, his dam was unwilling to be petted, and the breeder held the sire in her arms and never put him down to interact with my friend. My friend was able to be unemotional about this puppy (and his parents) and walk away without the pup. I absolutely agreed with this decision — this definitely was not the puppy she was looking for. This experience was a good lesson in not simply relying on a breeder's “assurances.”

Ultimately my friend did find a good, reputable breeder and adopted a wonderful puppy. I give her a lot of credit for sticking to her guns.

Puppies are adorable, and our hearts go out to them faster than the speed of light. But the selection of a dog to share your life with for 12 (or more, I hope) years should be based on more than the emotions of the moment. It is difficult to be objective about choosing a dog, but temperament is critically important. In fact, the most important predictor of a puppy's adult temperament is the temperament of the parents. If you can do just one thing: meet the parents.

Gail Fisher, author of “The Thinking Dog,” runs All Dogs Gym & Inn in Manchester. To suggest a column topic, email gail@alldogsgym.com or write c/o All Dogs Gym & Inn, 505 Sheffield Road, Manchester, NH 03103. You'll find past columns at alldogsgym.com.