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July 28. 2013 10:28PM

Joe McQuaid's Publisher's Notebook: A duke or a pest, it's all in the name


 

I think they should have held out for naming rights.

The Duke and Duchess Whatchamacallem. William and Kate or something.

The talk is that the new baby prince is generating big revenue for the British royals. (Late-night host Conan O'Brien said we should find a way to relocate the kid to Detroit.)

So instead of having another Tom, Dick, or Harry, or George, Paul, and Ringo, why didn't they put the kid's name out to bid?

"Guinness Stout the 1st" has a nice ring to it. "Sir Smuttynose" might have interested a New Hampshire brewer.

Or if that whacko guy is still running for Mayor of New York, his ego is big enough that he might have sprung for "Carlos Danger, Duke of Earl."

It makes as much sense as "Louie." My friend, Louie, now gets to tell people a future king has been named for him, and it didn't cost him a cent.

The lady of the house tells me the "pest-control man" is coming to pay us a visit and it will cost a bit more than a cent.

Apparently, some little creature has decided to take advantage of our Central air-conditioning and moved in.

I would have preferred Memorial air, on account of that's where I went to high school; but I can live with Central air as well.

I know this must bother my North Country friend, John Harrigan, no end. He thinks air conditioning is the Devil's playground or something. But we moved into a little house that already had central air and I must admit this summer's global warming (I mean climate change) made the modern convenience a truly modern convenience.

I told the lady of the cool house that pest control is not what we need.

"I don't want to teach the little critter how to behave," I explained. "I want him, her, or it gone. Vamoosed."

She has promised to look for a "pest-disappear man" next time.

Further on the wildlife front, two items in the news of late caught my eye.

The python that got loose from a Dartmouth College student was found in Hanover. This lowered yet again my opinion of reptiles.

I thought for sure a well-educated python would have left the Ivy League and headed for the cooling waters of the Snake River.

Then there is the moose shortage. New Hampshire apparently has one, so we are going to spend $700,000 to track them. Yet we are still going to have a moose hunt.

"Why don't they just buy some more moose?" a city desk colleague asked.

Good question.

Write to Joe McQuaid at publisher@unionleader.com or via Twitter at @deucecrew.


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