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June 22. 2014 7:54PM

Joe McQuaid's Publisher's Notebook: Chickens come home to roost with lucky German golfers


 

“Alderman at-Large Joe Kelly Levasseur raised a number of potential problems, such as the ordinance’s restriction against the slaughtering of chickens. He wondered if this meant one couldn’t kill a chicken that was sick — or in self-defense.

“ ‘Are people allowed to defend themselves from an attack by a chicken?’ he asked.’’

— From our June 18 story on the issue of allowing chickens in Manchester



You can't make this stuff up. Actually, we probably could. It would save on having to send reporters out to report. But I don’t think the stories would be as creative.

I do think the alderman’s comments raise some good questions, the first of which is, has he been cooped up too long?

If we are going to allow chickens, will the law allow us to stand our ground against rogue poultry?

If a chicken crosses the road with a foul look on its face, is that a legitimate enough threat to employ self-defense?

Are there, in fact, techniques or weapons that work particularly well against chickens? I have heard, alas, that they may be as scarce as hen’s teeth.

If guns are outlawed, will outlaw chickens rule the roost? And why aren’t more chickens on Twitter?

I think Alderman-at-Large Levasseur is right to keep pecking away at this idea. The unintended consequences of a chicken ordinance need more study. Otherwise, Manchester may find itself with egg on its face.

My advice? Don’t count your chickens until you have frisked them.

Meanwhile, a friend here at work has been crowing over last week’s U.S. Open golf win by German Martin Kaymer. My friend happens to have been born in Germany (in a log cabin with mice as roommates, to hear him tell it). Kaymer is the first German to win the Open.

Big deal. Kaymer beat one guy who has had not one but two heart transplants, and another who looks like Justin Bieber wandered onto the course. And an 11-year-old girl qualified for the women’s Open on the same course.

Golf was atwitter with flattering stories of how the Pinehurst, N.C., course’s lush and deep grass rough had been brought back to a time when it consisted of sand dunes and roots. The owners also cut back on watering the fairways, which showed in brown patches.

Another not-so-big deal. At my home course, the Derryfield Country Club, you can find all the roots you want if you shank a shot into the woods. But you would have to be a dumb cluck to do that.



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Write to Joe McQuaid at Publisher@unionleader.com or on Twitter at @Deucecrew


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