TODAY’S TOPICS include a riddle, the Nashua Lions Club, and the alphabet, among other things.
I’ll start with a picture I saw in the Nashua Telegraph recently. It showed a high school coach wearing a T-shirt with the phrase “We not Me” on it.
Catchy, yes. But grammatically correct? Shouldn’t it have been “We not I” or “Us not Me?”
OK. Riddle me this.
What can slow your pace of golf from behind?
Answer: any foursome that includes the Professor and Charlie.
Both of these guys are long hitters, but not always to the correct target. Charlie, in fact, walks the equivalent of three golf courses in one outing. Others in his group sometimes forget that he is playing. They appear startled when he shows up on their right green.
So even though they tee-off after your group, Charlie and the Professor will sometimes show up in front of you, requiring you to wait for them to hit it back, you hope, toward the right hole. There is talk of affixing a GPS to one of them.
Some readers think I need GPS to get the alphabet right.
Sections of the paper are labeled A, B, C, D, and sometimes E and F. This is because printing and color requirements sometimes mean the sections don’t always come off the press in that order or even at the same time.
This way, even when they are out of order, our page one index can direct you to what section and on what page certain items will appear. Obituaries, for example, may be on B6 and C5. (I know readers want obits on the same page or facing pages but that is not always possible.)
So, it’s not important that I know the alphabet, as long as readers do.
Note to readers concerned about the Car Talk weekly column: It hasn’t stopped. It was crowded out for space reasons on a recent Friday.
Finally, a shoutout to the Nashua Lions Club, which had me as its speaker last week. “Lions have McQuaid for Dinner” would have been a nice headline.
Despite the many pressures and social changes that have collapsed many civic-minded organizations, the Lions remain pretty strong. Nashua Lions is the state’s second oldest club (after Manchester) and the good it does, from helping the PLUS company and Nashua’s back-to-school program to its signature vision and eyeglass programs, is irreplaceable.
Write to Joe McQuaid at Publisher@unionleader.com or on Twitter @deucecrew.